Growing up, I lost a sibling to still birth. I heard stories of my grandmother losing a sibling to SID’s. I myself have had 4 miscarriages, one of which were a set of twins. I lost one at 8 weeks and the other at 11 weeks. I’ve even experienced a tubal pregnancy, and still mourned for that child even though my tubes had been tied to avoid having more children. Losing a child is the worst pain, in my opinion, that a woman can experience.
Everyone discusses the good of motherhood . Not many really discuss the losses that a lot of us experience. Those miscarriages are just as much my children as the ones that survived. I wonder day to day, would it have been a boy? A girl? Healthy? Smart and Witty? Who would they be today had I have got to meet them. I think women shy away from these conversations because there are people out there with the mentality of “oh you were only 8 weeks along it was just cell mass.” And that is the totally wrong outlook.
That mass of cells was a life that we were anxious and excited about bringing into this world. A part of us that we had anticipated— it doesn’t matter the length of time we had to anticipate it, all that matters is that we did. A positive pregnancy test changes your entire life. As soon as you see two lines your mind goes to- What can I do to prepare our world for this little blessing and all that comes along with it. When we lose that little part of us, it hurts. So be respectful to others and how they cope with the loss of a child. Even if they were 14 days along, who are you to tell someone how to grieve or mourn? Who are you to belittle someone else’s emotions because you don’t see it as a big deal??
Anonymommy 